Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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