oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Randomize
