so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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