Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
