Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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