i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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