Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
