Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Drunk is not a location!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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