Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
