the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
