I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
