According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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