This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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