Where is the hickey?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
