that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
