Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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