we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
