Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My hand turned me down
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
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I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
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Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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