Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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