i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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