He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
