Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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