If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This is my gift to your gina
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
