i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
