He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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