Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
cat food counts as protein by the way
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
