Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
