Swine flu. Run for my life!
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
