Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
