is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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