well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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