Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The adults are the big ones right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
