Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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