HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
