I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
