my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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