are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
