Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
