I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
