Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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