either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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