I'm drive I can fine osifer
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
