Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
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he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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