margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
