Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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