it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
