Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
