She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
