i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
