Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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