Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
