Say something about gay babies.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
