I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
