people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
