It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
