Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
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I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
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He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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