We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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