yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
