How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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