You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
